Chapter 1 (An Ambrosia Debunker): Head, Shoulders, No-Knees, and Toes?

Here's the deal: Since my yard spills into that of Ambrosia -- the chain-smoking, tattooed, NASCAR-lovin' potty-mouth whose scrawny rocker boyfriend, Steve, just finished a 30-day jail stint for his third DUI -- I hear a lot of interesting and downright loony tidbits every time I take my daughter, Abigail, outside to play. Just for fun, I thought I'd send out a daily Ambrosia Report to those of you who don't get to share a yard with the, um, salt of the earth.

In today's installment, we'll talk about kneecaps. Why? Because Ambrosia told me yesterday that babies don't have them -- don't get them, in fact, until they are three years old. So, folks, if you're planning on teaching your child to rollerskate before the age of three, don't waste your money on kneepads. There is apparently nothing to protect. When Ambrosia's daughter Meddow (not Meadow, mind you) celebrated her third birthday this past Monday, Ambrosia eagerly palpated that once-vacant non-joint and discovered -- egads -- a little triangle of bone that must, she says, MUST be the kneecap!

Oh, wait. I probably shouldn't be dispensing human physiology information from a person who threw a kegger for her daughter's second birthday. In fact, here is the Ambrosia Debunker of the Day: http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/may97/861940964.An.r.html