All's quiet on the Rebel front this weekend. I think the Ambrosia clan is out hunting morels. Now seems an opportune time to provide a brief list of reasons to love the gal:
1. She and Meddow baked us cookie-cutter cookies for Christmas. Not a single cookie was shaped like one of those buxom sitting silhouettes you see on truckers' mudflaps. They were actually shaped like trees and ornaments and even some mangers, even though she recently claimed, "We're not religious people." Geez. You think you know someone...
2. She and her boyfriend have benevolently inched Meddow's outdoor toys to the brink of our property line. Though I hear the theme from Sanford & Son playing in my head when I see that stuff, it would appear that my daughter hears something akin to the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. I gotta appreciate the fact that because they have so much toddler crap in their yard, we don't have to have any.
3. She is crazy for Barry Manilow. I don't mean she hums a bar of Mandy now and then while hanging her towels to dry on the line either. I mean she loves him in an auction-your-pewter-skull-and-crossbones-wedding-ring-on-eBay-for-concert-tickets sort of way. This is so unexpected from a woman who told her sons last week that she dreams of going crazy on them with an ax while they're sleeping. ("Is that awful?" she asked me.)
4. Her toughest moment, she claims, was pinning down Harlan while he got a few stitches sans anesthesia at age three. That's pretty impressive talk coming from a woman who unwittingly had sex with a toothless man, whose brother died in a gruesome motorcycle accident, who got pregnant when she was 16 and again at 18, who is missing her big toenails and eyeteeth -- you get the point. Talk about a mother's love.
5. She has a collection of Precious Moments-like figurines. Yes, I did say "like." Which means that she does not collect the actual crap but instead has shelves and shelves filled with knock-offs of this crap. There's something sweet about that, isn't there?
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